FAMILY VALUES IN THE WORKPLACE FAMILY:

The Importance of Letting Go

My great aunt Pasquelina, who died recently at the age of 94, had never married. (And, she seemed to hold men responsible for that fact.) As a result, she was embittered--so much so that she decided she wanted all female pall-bearers for her funeral. As she confided to my cousin Celeste, who visited her in the hospital near the end, "As far as men are concerned, they never took me out when I was alive and I'll be damned if they're going to take me out when I'm dead!"

Such isolationist-behavior may work on the personal level, but we can't afford it on the professional level. Individually and collectively, we have to cooperate, respect one another's differences, and recognize the impact of resentment on productivity. We have to put aside our individual differences and, as Rodney King said, learn to get along. Research has repeatedly shown that co-workers who cooperate, who can talk through conflict and emerge stronger because of it, invariably have a better product at lower cost.

Will it be easy to overlook the small annoyances? Will it be pleasant to forgive the large transgressions? No, but you'll be stronger if you can let them go. There's a more mature "you" waiting to be borne. The words of Anais Nin will help you get through the process: "And the day came when the risk of remaining tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom."