The men in my mother's youth were part of a culture that made their own wine. And while my mother never met the demon, rum, or any of his associates, she had family members who were known to both tip and tipple (and sometimes topple, as a result).

Her grandfather, in particular, sampled too many of his own vintage wares, too often. He was suffering medical problems, as a result.

His doctor one day advised that Grandpa would lose his hearing if he kept on with his existing habits. Grandpa had an irrefutable reply: "I like what I've been drinking better than what I've been hearing. So if it's all the same to you, doctor, I'll going to ignore your advice."

A half-century later, when my mother was losing her own hearing, she was often asked why she didn't get a hearing aid. Her reply, "After President Clinton, I've heard it all!"

I use these stories to remind you to listen selectively. And listen well. Experts tell us that in a typical interpersonal exchange, we should be listening 50% of the time and speaking the other half. Ask a colleague at work to unobtrusively observe as you and another co-worker discuss some issue that affects you both. Your observer will note if you maintained the 50/50 ratio.

In terms of listening selectively, pay no attention to gossip, rumors, whines. Listen only for information that will advance you at work. Listening guru Ralph Nichols says the best way to understand people is to listen to them. We concur, wholeheartedly.

Dr. Marlene Caroselli, author of 53 business books (see Amazon.com) is an international keynote speaker and corporate trainer for Fortune 100 companies, government agencies, educational institutions, and professional organizations. You can reach her at mccpd@frontiernet.net .